Prayer, school, work, duties, fun... and art?

[katycarl]

We may have talked about this before in a tangential way, while discussing other stuff, but now that school's starting again I'd like to bring it up again.

How do the rest of you balance the demands on your time, including the prayer life and social life we can't live without, while still making time for leisure and for your pursuit of art or literature? This is something I find I have a lot of trouble with, and I'd like to hear about the relationships -- functional or dysfunctional -- other people have with this issue. (And, of course, I promise to share my own when I'm not at work.)

[syme]

Ha ha! Well certainly one way is to pursue all those things *during* work.

But seriously, though, that is definitely something I have problems with. One good thing is if you can get to daily Mass in the morning before getting to work/school. And if they have a rosary after or before the Mass, so much the better. That gets your day off to a good start. If it is not easy for you to get to Mass, you can also do morning prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours. Mass could also be done during your lunch hour or after work, in some cases, though morning is best. I guess the weekend are for socializing and reading (and going to Mass). And writing? I haven't been able to get a hold on that. I do it when I can and feel inspired, which means I don't do it nearly often enough. My idea is that at some point I'll get myself organized and devote an hour every night to it, but it doesn't seem to be happening yet. Oh, and before going to sleep one can say night prayer, which is pretty short and sweet.

[bluemaydie]

Balance? Writing? Prayer life?

Bwa-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

What, you weren't kidding?

Oh.

No, I have no useful suggestions.

[katycarl]

Glad to know I'm not the only one.

Recently I've tried waking up earlier, in hopes of becoming a Morning Person who can pray, write *and* eat breakfast all in the same two-and-a-half-hour period of time. You know, one of those mythical creatures.

Progress so far: I stumbled out at 7:15 this morning, had some toast with pumpkin butter, read a meditation by St. Francis de Sales, rubbed my eyes, and lay down on the couch for another 15 minutes.

Result -- Morning: 1, Katy: 0.

[pauls]

Don't mean to get impractical or anything, but...can sacrificing our time gain us time?

I've been thinking about this. Instead of relying on and fitting ones self overly much to a schedule (though this is neccesary to an extent) with the hopes of gaining some time within that schedule to pursue ones craft, what about heaving good portions of that time up to God, I don't mean the times for prayer, but in such a way that it actually seems like we are throwing away good chunks of time, disposing of it as it were, and trusting that He will lavish on you extended times of inspiration? For instance, don't pursue your craft on Sundays. Give up one of your weekend nights, say Friday or Saturday, and sign up for one hour at a late hour, like 1:00, 2:00, 3:00 a.m., at some parish that has pereptual Adoration, so that you are obligated to go.

[syme]

That's an interesting thought. I don't know if this is what you meant or not, but perhaps one could write *during* adoration? Writing before the Blessed Sacrament could be one way of ensuring that one is writing for the right reasons, don't you think? Of course, one could not only go and see the blessed sacrament just to write, *actual* adoration would be in order, but perhaps it could be part of it. That wouldn't be disrespectful, right?

[firefolk]

My buddy Joey tells me that Graham Greene used to force himself to write 500 words a day, even if he had to go back and destroy it all the day after. Which makes a very great deal of sense to me. But, you know, I'll tell you how it is for me. I don't set time aside to write at all; I just go about my day, working, praying, and watching kung-fu movies--plus occasionally eating and pooping. And then once in awhile something will just sort of pounce on me and I'll go, "Holy @#%!" (sometimes not out loud) and lunge for a pen, knocking old ladies out of the way if necessary. In short, I don't personally believe in trying to force the words to come (or the music, or pictures, or whatever). I know that's kind of tangential to what Katy was originally talking about; but I thought it might free up some time if you took (say) a week or two, as an experiment, and just entirely left "writing time" out of your schedule. Then you could concentrate a bit more on school or Mass or family; and, as tends to happen, the greatest inspirations will suddenly strike at the least convenient possible moment. Which is of course why a wise writer always carries a pen and notepad (which I really need to start doing). Anyway--just a thought.

[syme]

Hmm... I wish that would work for me, but I only get sudden bursts of inspiration like that about once a year. Normally, if I want ideas to flow, I need to set aside "thinking" time. That's the only way that I've been able to make any progress on a novel that I'm hoping to write one of these days (though I'm still far from being able to start). The thing will be static in my mind for months, until I set aside some time to think about it and figure out the kinks. Of course, there are still a lot of kinks and I'll never be able to sort them all out before starting to write, but this "thinking time" has been helpful whenever I've been wise enough to take it.

[bluemaydie]

Sharing Time!

OK. So. Last year I was working on a novel (the first of three--a fantastic epic about sin and redemption, complete with crazy actors and LOTS of vampires. And nuns! Plenty of nuns! Anyway). I spent six months on the 1,000-words-a-day plan. Everyday I'd get out my ancient, battery-is-shot-but-hey-it-was-free, Windows 95 laptop. Everyday I'd crank out 1,000 words. Some days--especially those when I spent all day at a friend's art studio--I'd get out several thousand words.

That novel has been trashed.

The thing is, the vast majority of what I was writing was crap. I felt great writing it--very free and expressive!--but it was awful stuff. Loads of description that didn't move the plot along and just bogged me down. 150 pages of nothing happening in beautiful restaurants. Not even my best friends liked it very much.

At the same time, I started working on a short story, for an alternative to work on when the vampire novel wasn't "flowing." I wrote the story (about a girl who wants to be a superhero!) in about two weeks. It took me another month or so to completely rewrite it in a way that made it half-decent. Because the first, forced draft was crap. But at least, in a short format, it was crap with a plot, and I could work on it.

Christmas time! Hubby and I went to visit his family. Between the trip and the celebrations at home, I went a month without real writing time. And then there was the story to finish revising and submitting to a magazine (it was not accepted, alas), and a couple of articles to research and write. Plus a lethargy that left me sitting on the couch watching America's Next Top Model with glee. In short, I spent another six months not writing fiction, with the exception of the morality play that was published on this site and a couple of abortive attempts at short brilliance. I started to worry; how will I ever be a real writer if this keeps up?

And then I stopped worrying. Because I got pregnant. Now, I have been exhausted for academic reasons, and I have been exhausted for medical reasons. And I have been exhausted for emotional/psychological reasons. None of those compares to pregnancy exhaustion. 1,000 words a day? Don't make me laugh! That takes brain power, and some days I can't even spell the word "brain." At the same time, I've been struck with several ideas for short stories and a possible way to make the vampire story work. So what do I do?

I take a pen and a notebook and write a couple of pages when I have the time, energy, and idea. And I write in longhand, which slows me down considerably. This means that the words tend to be more considered and the story doesn't get bogged down as much in useless description and abstraction. The fact is, I write better when I write slower. I write better when I've let an idea percolate in my head for a while and I know how I want to write it down. Inspiration, shminspiration. I just save up the little bits that come and right now, I'm not worrying about finishing anything in a certain time frame or being a "real writer."

My goal is to keep it up, too. To keep that notebook open on the table, and when the baby's quiet or Hubby comes home to play with the baby, I can write a bit here and a bit there. I just don't think 1,000 words a day will work with a kiddo on hand (maybe it would for some, but it won't for me). And I'm not sure I'll miss it. I like writing better, even if I miss opening the flood gates and baring my soul self-indulgently and then making people read it. What can I say, I'm a sadist.

So there you go.At the moment, I'm trying to work prayer in before bed, or when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. And for the record, I have written in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It was very, very bad religious poetry. I don't recommend it. Jesus is Jesus, and nothing is more important. If we're using time with him to sneak time with ourselves, working on our own stuff, we're not worshipping him. We're using him as a cover. I mean, I know we're all going to save the world with beauty and all, but come on. Who are we kidding? If we never wrote another word, the world would be fine. Because of him.

That's not to say that Adoration won't make your writing better. But I'm not sure that writing when you're supposed to be Adoring will have the same effect.

[pauls]

I have seen people writing in Adoration before (I think they were doing school work or something)...I haven't myself, nor, I think, ever would. While it wouldn't be disrespectful per say, I would not do it. By "sacrificing" ones time, I was thinking, I think, merely of a context for ones writing to be done in. Pretty much like what bluemaydie was doing. The thing is, even if you don't write anything worth while in such a context of sacrificing ones time for any number of things, you still gone and done good. And its consistent with the "self-gift" of the artist. I guess one thing to avoid is the "how-to" formula, definitely do not want to view God as some "dispenser" of inspiration. You will create in proportion as you give, in time.

[pauls]

Oh yeah...the one thousand words a day...so much of what the writer does is "store-up" material, "saving the bits", and the actual writing of that material is practically secondary, isn't it? That's the way it often seems to me. Isn't it almost like the words are one with it and are like the buds that form on the branch? It seems to me a thousand words a day...hmmm...it could be good in a way, yet one can see degenerating into self-indulgence without the "material", the painter's model and such.

[ebdonlon]

Just for the sake of introducing another perspective... People scribbling during Adoration is a familiar sight and one that really used to irritate me -- not because I felt it was disrespectful, but because I found pen scratching seriously distracting.

At the same time, I found that tangible inspiration often came in the midst of prayer. In the end, I sought to contain my flights of fancy so as not to spend all of my time before Our Lord in solipsistic musings, and to transform the authentic inspiration into what God wants me to write. I established a basic schedule for my Adoration "hour" -- thirty minutes in prayer and meditation, thirty minutes in spiritual reading, and thirty minutes in note-taking and/or composition. I am not rigorous in my adherence to the schedule, but I find it helps to regulate my far too restless thoughts. If nothing else, I have learned greater charity towards all of those poor, innocent people who dared to interrupt my prayers with the vagaries of their pens.

As far as the great balancing act of life goes -- some days I do very well indeed, some days I feel rather overwhelmed, and some days I am frenzied, anxious, and irritable. In fact, when I first read Katy's post I intended to respond (feeling very much in control). Thirty seconds later I realized my world was utter chaos. I agree with everyone who has recommended a regime of Mass and prayer. It need not be much (in fact, I find that when I try and do a great deal I do nothing at all), but with regular prayer, stress evaporates I find either that I am organized or that the chaos doesn't really bother me. Constant communication with God keeps everything in perspective.

[bluemaydie]

Oh, I've seen tons of people writing during Adoration. Most seem to be flipping earnestly around in the Bible while doing so--I always assumed they were keeping prayer journals. Which is great: it's prayer.

But my writing--even for such a journal as this one--isn't prayer. Yes, I've been struck with ideas during Adoration, and have jotted them down to be returned to later. But to work on them during Adoration seems wrong to me. Writing is a process where I turn inward and talk to myself. Now, there may be an indwelling Spirit somewhere in there, but for the most part I'm talking to me. Adoration and prayer are supposed to be times of talking to someone else, n'est-ce pas?

I don't know. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. But it seems like cheating to say on the outside, "I'm going to Adoration for an hour!" But on the inside, to say and do, "Instead of watching one hour with the Lord, I'm going to work on the thing that's going to make me famous! Or at least talked about by Catholic bloggers for a whole week!" seems wrong. I have to agree with pauls: No matter when "inspiration" strikes, putting the idea aside to focus on what's really important--sacrificing writing to prayer--is the better way.

But I could always be wrong.