One-Act Draft: Four Movements

[sullijo]

Recently discovered Dappled Things and have very much enjoyed the writing therein. Seeing the lack of drama in the submissions, I thought I would submit a one-act play I wrote in college on the life of Francis of Assisi. I've tried to tighten up the writing, but would appreciate any feedback before I send it to the editors.

[bluemaydie]

Sullijo--

How refreshing it is to see drama in these forums! Thank you for sharing your piece. I've been pondering the notion of writing a play on the Life of St. Francis (alas, I haven't progressed very far with my reading on the subject, though), so my reading of your play may be tainted by the ideas I've been forming about "How I Would Do It." Feel free to dismiss these comments and follow your own artistic instincts.

The thing that draws me to a dramatization of St. Francis's life is how very theatrical it already is. If one can just harness the spectacles that are already there, that's all that's needed. Very little invention, just organization, would be necessary. You've got your organization set out, but the spectacle of Francis's life is missing.

I think the main problem is explication: the Leper has such a huge job to do filling in the biography between scenes, that he takes over and narrates the scenes as well. You might trim his role and expand the scenes to display Francis's particular flair. Regarding the stigmata, the "Considerations on the Stigmata" (often published with the "Little Flowers of St. Francis") has some wonderful, dramatic details on how the stigmata were received, and provides a brother who was "accidentally spying" on St. Francis at the time, who could take over the Leper's function in that scene.

Again, thank you for posting your work!

[syme]

And speaking of not having drama in DT, I gather "Mr. and Mrs. Every" is your creation, bluemaydie? If so, good job!